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Validation is a control mechanism
3 min read

Validation is a control mechanism

Validation is a control mechanism. If its coming from outside, then you are also handing over control as to how you feel to someone or something else. What goes up, comes down and that means assured rollercoaster emotions. The sense of self, is crucial as a changemaker.
Validation is a control mechanism

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You walk into a showroom and look at that car that is slightly above your price range - it is something you aspire to own, but a bit of a stretch for your pocket right now. The sales guy walks over, gives you a smile and opens the door for you - "take a seat sir", he says. And if he gauges you right will say the words : "It's like this car is built for you sir - makes you look like an executive".

Happens when we walk into stores too - we try on a suit, or that watch or dress that's a bit above our price range; when the window shopping turns into a lure, we walk in and make the mistake of getting too close to the merchandise. "I can tell, you have really good taste!", comes the voice.

Validation is a control mechanism and there are very few folks who can resist it - even when we know we are being lied to.

Good sales folks use it all the time, to upsell stuff.


There is also a dark side to it.

If you put too much emphasis on validation, it can become a remote control handed to others around you to make decisions for you - and not necessarily good ones. External validation can be an emotional roller coaster. Attach your value on things like emotions of feeling good, and it goes up and down and takes you along with it.

If you are an entrepreneur or changemaker, the sense of self being grounded is important.

Not saying you can't feel good about yourself once a while and make a purchase or two and let yourself to be romanced - that's what a good lie does - just don't give it the centre stage.


There was a quote that a Investor used to say - people and businesses pay for things that help them get paid or made. Those are the straightforward first degree business models.

If you are a early stage entrepreneur, trying to land a few key accounts a really effective strategy - especially in the B2B space - is to do a demo of how your product will make a champion in the organization look good. Send that along with your cold email and you'll get a reply.

That's what Eventifier did.

Event managers did all the hard work and at the end of the day, what they had to show for was half-hearted reports and databases of attendees - much of which went unnoticed. But what Eventifier did was allowed event managers and sponsors to capture the spirit of the event in a way that was visual - without the event managers having to break a sweat and to feel good about what they had created. Event managers used this to talk to sponsors. Sponsors used it to talk about the events they had sponsored within the company.

Validation has value. Helping folks find validation and look good, has real value.


Validation isn't always about money. The simple act of thanking those who helped you come up with the stellar presentation and made you look good - will win you the loyalty of a team that will stand behind you. A company that has a culture of crediting its team members, and sharing the spotlight, will last more than most.

We are a lone nut, without a follower - says Derek Silvers in his famous TED Talk. Sometimes the simple validation of your follower, is a sign that you value them. and it costs you nothing.

This seems like an apt topic even as I am stunned about this newsletter growing to 300 subscribers in less than two weeks.

Thank you for trusting me with your inbox. 🙏

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